06 December, 2007

Grand Canyon

Yup, that's me sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon (aka "giant hole in the ground"), trying to appear like I'm modelling my cheap American Eagle T-shirt and at the same time trying not to meet a horrendous fate by falling into the hole. I'm smiling too, which as everyone knows, is a rarity. Probably coz L. and I had a lot of fun on our daytrip to the canyon. Since we were bored to death in Phoenix and wanted to escape that badly, L. and I decided to take on the challenge of driving 4.5 hours from Phoenix to the South Rim mostly on desolate stretches of flat desert highways, interrupted only by the occasional housing development plopped right in the middle of nowhere and the attendant outlet shopping malls. And not to forget, that other staple of the cookie-cutter lifestyle - chain restaurants.

It was a daunting prospect for both me, who detested driving long distances, and L., a work-in-progress behind the wheel. Fortunately, a viable alternative presented itself in the form of the Grand Canyon Railway, a steam locomotive train service departing daily from the town of Williams and taking a little over 2 hours to cover the 65-mile distance to the canyon. Lured by the brochure's promise of comfortable passenger cars offering views of assorted flora and fauna along the route, we decided to plunk down $95 each for the Club Class service, in no small part due to the passenger car having its own fully-stocked bar and bartender at the ready. Quite steep (got the AAA discount though), but at least we could get some much-needed shuteye since we had to drive back that night to Phoenix. We departed quite early at 6am for the 3-hour drive to Williams, reaching it just in time for the train's departure.

The train ride itself was ok, if somewhat leisurely (read: slow) and relaxing (read: boring). The scenery looked awfully the same all the time too, so I got bored and promptly fell asleep, awaking from time to time to find that the scenery hadn't changed and to avail of the free beverages. The female bartender (whose name escapes me) did a brisk business selling martinis and amazingly cheap (hey, this is Arizona) drink specials to the passengers, despite it clearly being too early to imbibe. Maybe they were all from New York or some other high-priced area and couldn't resist sousing themselves on cheap alcohol. According to L., some cowboys (or railway employees dressed like cowboys) would come and sing or play instruments, but I was oblivious to their presence. But eventually we arrived at the Grand Canyon with much excitement.

The nice thing about the South Rim, being quite developed, is that it offers a lot of tourist amenities, making your visit a pleasant one. You can choose to walk along the Rim while viewing the green and brown rock formations, or trolleys can ferry you to different points along the Rim on two different routes for different perspectives on the canyon. It all looked quite the same to me though, except for one part where parts of the Colorado river can be seen (and its roar heard, according to the trolley driver with supersonic hearing) and after thirty minutes of staring and taking pictures, I was ready to leave. But wait, we still have 3 hours to kill!!! So L. and I continued on taking more and more pictures, all of them looking remarkably quite the same. This experience was quite different from my first visit to the West Rim five years ago which necessitated being thrown around the SUV while driving through Indian reservation land on unpaved desert roads. Definitely a more rustic experience, but on the upside there were no long lines for the trolleys. Come to think of it, there were no trolleys at all.

Well, all good things have to come to an end. At 4pm, the train started chugging back to Williams and the drinking started again. After thirty minutes or so, the train came to a complete halt due to an electrical problem and after anxious moments of worrying that we'd have to spend the night in the desert shivering in freezing temperatures, the crew announced that they had fixed the problem and pretty soon we were up and running. Too wiped out to care, instead I was focused on how to fall asleep on the uncomfortable seat, and I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the ride. At some point, the bartender announced that the cowboys (those on the train's payroll) were going to "rob" the train, and not being very bright people (her words, not mine), we had to put our money somewhere obvious for them to get. She suggested putting dollar bills behind our ears, or sticking out of shirt pockets, among others. As the car's other passengers eagerly awaited the robbers' arrival and conceived of ways to voluntarily separate themselves from their money, I decided to reprise my oft-played role as major killjoy, figured that L. and I paid too much for the ride in the first place, and refused to take part in this silliness and went back to my nap.

11 November, 2007

Na Zdravi!

Saying that beer has a prominent role in Czech culture and history is an understatement, they have been brewing this stuff longer and drinking it in larger quantities than everyone else. (Though the skeptical among us would scoff and say that their top spot in the per-capita consumption list was partly the result of planeloads of British lads popping into the pubs on their weekends of debauchery). The people are rightly proud of the many "Czech beer firsts" which includes having the "first president to have written an absurdist play based on his experiences working in a Czech beer brewery in AD 1974". How can you not love these people?? ;-D Not to bore you with this stuff, but here are some entertaining reads on Czech beer history, Czech beer culture (where you will find out, among other things, "why is it that so many Czech men have such a stunningly round physique?"), and how they're exporting more of the good stuff everywhere. Great news! Just don't export your pork loin, cabbage and goulash dishes, please.

Despite a week-long fiesta of tasting one beer brand after another, I craved for more, so I joined the Pubs of the Old Town tour, on this night led by Tomas (to-MASH), a 23-yr old university student and beer connoisseur. It was a slow night with only two other school teachers from Florida as the other tour participants. (Now these people really NEED a drink after each day of being driven mad by students). So, the plan was for us to drop by three pubs for drinks and a typical Czech dinner at one of those three. First stop was Staronetsky Klub, a small, cool happy hour type of place serving Staropramen. (Unlike the US, in Prague most pubs serve only one brand of beer due to tie-ups with the breweries). Then we were on to U Pivrnce, a traditional restaurant (ughh, bread dumplings again) in Josefov which I liked for its vivid cartoon illustrations on the walls depicting Czech humor (unfortunately, the captions were in Czech too). By coincidence, this was also the restaurant where Marketa (remember Marketa?) brought us for lunch on my first day in Prague, so I already knew the food would be serviceable but not spectacular.

U Pivrnce serves a few other beers in addition to their main offering Pilsner Urquell, and opting for something different, I absolutely loved the sweet with caramel hints taste of Kozel dark beer. Tomas chose this moment to tell the group that Czechs consider dark beer as a "ladies' beer" due to its lower alcohol content, much to our amusement. Furthermore, he pointed out, Czechs say that men who drink beer develop round stomachs, but women who do so develop round breasts, thus flat-chested girls were encouraged to indulge in the stuff. Well, you learn something (true or made up) every day, is all I can say ;-) (That's a likeness of U Pivrnce's owner on the left). The last stop was a pub frequented by locals that was a bit of a dive (the name escapes me). Drank a glass of Bernhard here, one of the country's regional beers which tasted quite bitter. Eventually the fun-filled night came to an end an hour past the three hours the tour was supposed to last, an indication of how interesting the conversations were greased by the pivos, and after one last "Na zdravi! (Cheers)", it was time to part and in my case, ruminate on how country's food could be so bad and yet its beer so good.

07 November, 2007

I'm Loving It

I hate to admit it, but Czech food didn't really do it for me. Despite being resolute in sampling only typical Czech dishes and hoping that with every meal it would get better, by the end of my weeklong stay I threw in the towel and said, "Basta! No mas". Goodbye to those super filling tasteless bread dumplings, and hello, American fast food.

The 3 hour bus ride back from Cesky Krumlov to Prague meandered its way through several towns along the way, the most famous of them Cesky Budejovice - commonly known as Budweiser. Yes, that's where the eponymous beer is brewed to this day. Not the weak offering from Anheiser Busch, but rather the original Czech pilsner. Confused? Read about the trademark dispute between the two companies.

After being deposited at Roztyly metro station, and a switch to the Chili Hostel in Nove Mesto, I was famished, and eagerly walked to Stare Mesto in search of the Golden Arches (McDonald's in plainspeak, not some wonderful tourist attraction :-D). Yeah, comfort food! I admit, not quite very original and something I generally avoid eating in foreign countries, but if Bohemian specialties weren't up to the task...and a week without Coca-Cola is simply pushing it.

Like the picture says, 399 meters to the left across the Charles Bridge. Strolling on the bridge is a sweet pleasure, marred somewhat by the overabundance of tourists. This time my feet carried me forward as if I was catching a train. I jostled and speed walked by other pedestrians in my single-minded pursuit of getting to Mickey D's before I collapsed from hunger. Upon entry, I was greeted by the strains of Elton (make that Sir Elton) John's Tiny Dancer blaring from the speakers. Ah, American culture is indeed our best export. Wait, isn't Sir Elton British??

The Filet-o-Fish value meals sounded good, so I told the cute girl behind the counter that I wanted it. Of course I couldn't speak Czech, so I ordered in English. Good thing she spoke English as well. Since Micaela was cute, I tried to impress her with pathetic attempts to speak Czech. She asked me something, so I replied "Ano (yes)". Then, I thought, "Well, she probably encounters thousands of male tourists every day who want to impress her because she's cute", so for good measure, before I went in search of napkins, condiments, and a table, I over-cheerfully thanked her, "Dekuji!!!". Yeah, this tourist knows two words in Czech! So much for that. Must be the hunger messing up my mind.

Anyway, as you can see, a McDonald's value meal is pretty much standard (note that Shrek marketing campaign tie-in), but here in Prague it comes with a bottle of water to take-away. Some sort of health initiative, maybe they think it'll discourage customers from gulping down 32oz servings of soda. Wait, I don't think they even serve 32oz servings of soda - the concept of "super sizing" is relative. After quaffing my refreshing Coke and some of the Vittel water, I wander around the restaurant searching for the WC (restroom) unsuccessfully. Apparently this branch does not have its own restrooms, a situation quite common in Prague. But lest customers panic, there is a really big sign with instructions to cross the street for the WCs. True enough, there they were twenty steps across the cobblestoned arcade, tucked away in a corner, but...should've seen this coming, the toilet facilities were pay-to-use!! Like everywhere else, an elderly woman stands on guard and collects the fee before allowing patrons to enter. I dutifully pay my five korunas ($0.25), do my business, and on the way out, the woman hands me a small voucher the size of a movie ticket stub. It proudly indicated (in English!) that the bearer was entitled to five korunas off his next meal at - you guessed it - McDonald's.

27 July, 2007

Roundabout way to Karlstejn Castle

None too eager to shell out 950CZK ($47) for a half-day excursion to visit Karlstejn Castle, I decided to simply do it on my own. That way, I didn't have to be rushed nor comform to a group's schedule. After all, Karlstejn Castle was only a 45-minute ride from Praha's main train station, Hlavni Nadrazi, costing 61CZK ($3) round-trip, and coupled with the hour-long guided tour of the castle's interiors priced at 220CZK ($11), you really had to be sucker (or timid tourist) to take a guided bus excursion from Praha. I waited at the platform for the train to arrive, somewhat puzzled at the lack of other tourists going to Karlstejn, as I had heard that it could get quite mobbed during summer. Finally the train came, and I hopped onboard along with two other people after seemingly all the train's passengers disembarked.

After a few minutes, the train stopped at the next station (Smichov), and everyone in my car filed to get out. Now I got that sinking feeling in my stomach and was thinking, "Uh oh, something's not right". As if in answer to my suspicions, the stern-faced conductor burst through the doors, and spotting me still seated, practically bellowed at me to get out (I deduced this from his tone and body language). My futile attempts (where's that damned phrasebook when you needed it?) to ask if the train continued to Karlstejn were met with a firm shake of the head and repeated declarations of "Informace! (Information)", accompanied by an outstretched arm pointing upstairs. I hurried up the stairs, and unable to find any semblance of an information booth, stopped to ponder my plan of action. Should I just give up the idea of visiting Karlstejn and explore more of Praha instead? No! That would be a cop-out, and I'd hate to miss out just because of some stupid train mix-up. Eventually, I realized that Smichov was also a metro stop, thus I could retrace my way back to Hlavi Nadrazi and figure out the correct train to Karlstejn Castle. Voila!

So, back at Hlavi Nadravi, looking more intently this time at the Departures board, I recalled that the Lonely Planet (which I left at the hostel) instructed to take the trains going to Beroun and stopping on the way at Karlstejn. Bad news was I had almost an hour to kill at the dismal station till the next one came, so I used the washroom (5CZK!!!), bought an English newspaper and ice cream, settled on a chair and tried hard to ignore the smelly homeless-looking guy seated on my right whose attempt to strike up a conversation I rebuffed with a shrug and "Nemluvim cesky (I don't speak Czech)". What else could I have said anyway? :-D

Anyway, this time I got the train right and sat amidst a group of ten lively university students (the girls were cute and I marveled at how they could pull off the disheveled hair look) from Madrid. The castle is about a ten minute walk from the station, with the last part a really steep hike. Although the interiors were fairly so-so, the views from the castle of the surrounding countryside were spectacular. I spent a bit of time in town souvenir-shopping (didn't buy anything) and a late lunch of mixed grilled sausages (enough with the traditional Czech food). It took a circuitous route and a little longer than expected to get there, but the afternoon was well worth the adventure.

25 July, 2007

Praha in a Day

My first metro ride in Praha was a success. The Hostel City Center is about a five minute walk from Karlovo Namesti station, and since I got in at around 730am, the front desk staff told me to leave my bags, come back at check-in time (2pm), and sent me off with a free city map. So, tired, hungry, and jetlagged, what did I decide to do? Well, obviously have some breakfast first. And then, take a six-hour deluxe tour of Praha, what else??? No time to waste, I take my sightseeing quite seriously. Mind you, it's not really six hours of walking, but rather about four(!!) hours. The latter part included a typical Czech lunch at a local non-touristy pub, followed by an hour-long small boat ride on the Vltava river.

As I approached the Stare Mesto (Old Town), magnificent Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral came into view, with the famous Charles Bridge in the foreground. Not really sure where the Old Town Square is, I simply did the only logical thing: follow the crowds up and down the winding cobblestoned streets of the Old Town until I was standing in front of the Astronomical clock. The tour was led by Marketa, a tourism student who had just passed THE EXAM and was leading her first-ever group! How 'bout that? A daunting baptism of fire with me, a notoriously cranky tourist (jet-lagged or not) and two British women??? But we did get along well actually (see pic) and bantered a bit. Her English was decent, though she admitted the need for improvement, and her knowledge of facts about each magnificent building unsurpassed, if somewhat bookish.

The walking tour itself passed by all the highlights of Praha, from the Jewish cemeteries to Franz Kafka's house to Mala Strana (Lesser Quarter). Along the way, we passed by numerous historic churches, stately mansions and lavishly decorated government buildings of various architectural styles, and Marketa would rattle off facts about them, that it all became a dizzying mess in my mind. Confident that I would return to Mala Strana later during the trip, I put off taking pictures and regrettably, didn't manage to have the time to explore the area later. Too bad. We managed to reach Prague castle's main entrance in time for the daily Changing of the Guards ceremony at noon, and later queued up along with tons of other tourists to get inside St. Vitus Cathedral. The heat was taking a toll on me, and I looked forward to having lunch and pivo (Czech for beer, the one essential word any idiot tourist knows). We crossed the Charles Bridge back into Stare Mesto, stopping from time to time to admire the different statues and take pictures. It is quite a challenge to cross the perenially busy bridge, as progress is usually impeded by other tourists doing idiotic things like walking too slow, blocking the path while stopping to listen to the jazz musicians (and getting pickpocketed in the process), and my favorite pet peeve - wandering in front of a statue oblivious to the numerous photogs on the verge of clicking on their cameras. (I usually glare at them - men, women, and children alike - as a sort of non-verbal "Getouttahere!" imperative, and the wiser ones scurry away. Haha).

Eventually we emerged on the other side and thus my first encounter with Czech cuisine commenced. We entered the pub which wasn't too far from our starting point four hours earlier, and were ushered into the homey basement dining room. According to Marketa, the agency allowed each guest one beer and one entree (included in the price) - scanning the unappetizing list, I tried my luck with the "roast pork leg, Bohemian dumplings, stewed cabbage" and crossed my fingers. (Notice the reasonable prices - 95CZK - for most of the entrees, the same dish at a touristy resto near the Old Town Square can cost almost double). Gulping down the Pilsner Urquell was a welcome relief from the heat, and as I found out, the best part of the meal.

The pork loin itself was so-so, but the bread dumplings (why they are called dumplings remains a mystery) lacked any trace of flavor and were quite heavy. Despite my profound hunger, I managed to force myself to eat only two loaves and left the other two untouched. Unfortunately, being a staple of Czech cuisine, the Bohemian dumplings make an appearance at every meal and accompany every dish. Two pivos later (I shelled out 32CZK or $1.60 for the extra one), we proceed to take the boat ride on the Vltava. Not that I could tell you much about it, as I was overcome with fatigue and half-slept my way throughout the ride and missed most of the commentary. All I remember is the girl doing the talking was attractive. Found my way back to the hostel, checked in, and promptly drifted into unconsciousness.

24 July, 2007

"Mluvite anglicky?"

The flight arrived at Ruzyne airport at around 530am, even earlier than the advertised 620am. Minutes before, I had eagerly taken my pen out in anticipation of the handing out of the landing cards and customs declaration forms. However, mystifyingly enough, none came. The flight attendants merrily went about handing out drinks, but no paperwork. The immigration dude just looked at my passport and stamped it forcefully without asking any questions. Weird. First country this has happened to me. Must be an experimental anti-terrorist screening system based on no screening at all.

Instead of spending 650CZK (Czech korunas, or crowns; US$1=20CZK) on a taxicab to the center of Praha, I decided to take the public Bus #119 and then the free transfer to the metro at Dejvicka. Total cost: $1 (20CZk). I obviously wasn't the only cheapskate tourist, as there were 20 or so of us lined up at the stop, almost all clutching 500CZK and 1000CZK bills dispensed by the ATMs inside the terminal. As my turn came in boarding the bus, I sheepishly handed my 500CZK bill to the driver and greeted him a bright and happy "Dobry den". I couldn't quite understand what the phrases he grunted meant, but genius that I am, I inferred that he said "Gee, thanks for not having exact change, you dumb tourist. Go take a seat, ride's on me", so I took a seat beside the other sheepish-looking tourists, and we all got off at Dejvicka after a 20-minute ride along the colorless suburbs of Praha.

I practically ran down the steps of Dejvicka metro station to be the first to buy my metro ticket. Praha's metro wowed me no end, from the modern design of the platforms, brightly-lit signs, cleanliness, and fast-moving steep escalators. It operated on an honor system - you buy the ticket (20CZK or 14CZK, depending on the type of trip), validate the bottom portion at the machine, and get on the train. No turnstiles, no gates, only random inspectors who politely ask to see your ticket. So I could've just waited for line A to arrive without paying and if caught claim newbie tourist ignorance, but somehow I felt guilty so I approached the ticket window. After greeting the elderly clerk the usual, "Dobry den", I tentatively asked, "Mluvite anglicky?" (Do you speak English?), hoping to myself "Please, please...say yes". Alas, she shook her head emphatically. Uh oh. I had already used my two stock Czech phrases (Oh wait, I also learned "Kde te toalety?" or "Where's the toilet?" but that was somewhat irrelevant at this stage of the journey).

Holding aloft my 500CZK bill, I mustered "Jedno" (one) while simultaneously pointing to a replica of the metro ticket pasted on the window. I might've used the wrong form of "one" which is dependent on the gender of the noun ticket, and could be either "jedno", "jedna" or "jeden". Ah, the subtleties of a foreign language I don't speak...such fun!!! The clerk made the thumbs-up sign and said something I didn't quite catch. For a few seconds I just stood there, unsure if I was required to respond, and then I realized she had made the Czech sign for "one". (Many thanks to the Lonely Planet phrasebook!). Yes, by using her thumb, whereas we would normally raise our index finger. To indicate "two", they raise both index and thumb fingers, thus forming a gun, similar to how kids pretend to shoot each other while playing. So after that little cultural exchange (we're off to a great start already!), she handed back 480CZ in change and I was on my way to the hostel. "Change at Mustek, get off at Karlovo Namesti", I kept muttering like a madman.

17 July, 2007

Aha, Praha!

Everyone who comes to Prague falls in love with it. Trust me - ask all your friends and relatives who've been, and they will bend your ears about the magnificent architecture, efficient clean metro system, reasonable prices for goods, and delicious pilsners (but of course!). And oh yes, how many damned tourists there are. Not for nothing was Prague the sixth-most visited European city last year, with over 3.5Million foreign guests pouring in. (This effectively rebuts my roommate's claim that I would be by my lonesome on the Czech Airlines flight).

The number of fellow sightseers only detracts slightly from the experience, and only if you let it. Although this year's visitor numbers are down sharply, you wouldn't know it from the masses gathered in front of the ever popular and impressive Astronomical Clock (pictured) in the old town square. The crowds start to stake out their posts and ready their videocams about fifteen minutes before the hour in anticipation of the "show". Essentially, Death (lower right-hand side) rings a bell continuously and inverts his hourglass, while the twelve Apostles slowly parade past the windows above the clock. At the end, a cock crows loudly, the windows shut, and that's about it. Personally, I found it somewhat underwhelming, and I've saved you the airfare to Prague - judge for yourself by clicking on the grainy thirty-second video.

28 May, 2007

Por Una Cabeza

All good things must come to an end. Not really referring to the cruise itself (that dragged on long enough), but listening to the string quartet's music and talking to Natasha. She strolled into the Cova Cafe a few minutes past 10pm, and as soon as she saw me sipping a Blue Moon at the bar, came and apologized for not keeping our appointed dinner. Turns out Natasha was at the cruise director's office taking care of some stuff. Surprise, surprise - they were back in full force tonight. A Turkish waiter was cajoled into lending his violin (albeit not a professional quality one) to the quartet, and that'll just have to do for tonight's performance before the broken one could be repaired in Vancouver the next day.

Determined to make a grand exit, the Vivaldi string quartet played with intensity, egged on by the sizable crowd, some of whom started making requests (the theme from "Titanic", anyone?). Diehard fans that we were, Emma and I joined in the act, and even Marlon chimed in with his own choice. I asked Natasha if they could play a tango song. After crinkling her forehead for a few moments, she replied, “Una cabeza?” and hummed a few bars. Bingo! Exactly the one I was thinking of - although I didn't know the title. After a few songs into the next set, Natasha looked in my direction, beamed, and the opening strains of "Por Una Cabeza" filled the cafe. We applauded with much gusto, and their delight was apparent at our enjoyment. (If the song sounded familiar, it's because it has been used in many Hollywood movie soundtracks. Here's Al Pacino doing the tango in "Scent of a Woman").

After some late night pizza on Deck 11, Natasha and I went back to Cova Cafe to talk - there was simply too much ground to cover, stuff like family, life on the ship, future plans - the list is endless. And talk we did until 230am when rest beckoned and the moment came for goodbyes. I dreaded the inevitable, yet relished our friendship forged in so short a time. Memories will fade, and further contact is uncertain, yet a wide smile breaks on my face every time "Por Una Cabeza" is played.

24 May, 2007

Fun at the Ports of Call

As some people pointed out, I dissed Ketchikan in the previous post by calling the activities there "forgettable". My bad, I was actually referring to the town itself. Hahaha. (Take that, Ketchikan!). And to Juneau. And Skagway. Basically just a bunch of jewelry shops catering to high-end cruise passengers and "3 for $10 T-shirt" stores catering to their cheap cousins. Fortunately, I didn't succumb to shopping temptation (although the salmon candy came close), since I had already splurged on the $5 "Celebrity" T-shirt at the shop onboard.

One of the more interesting shore excursions we took was the Great Alaskan Lumberjack Show in Ketchikan. Billed as one of the "Top 10 Things to See in Alaska", it involves two teams of lumberjacks competing in an array of events including sawing (pictured), wood chopping, axe throwing, pole climbing, and log rolling. You know, their usual weekend leisure activities :-) Each section of the sparse crowd was assigned a team to root for, and some half-soused members of our tribe livened up the festivities with their enthusiastic hurling of invectives at the opposing team. In the end, our team emerged victorious in that day's competition. I suspect the next day's outcome would be reversed, but perhaps I'm being overly cynical. Entertaining stuff, nonetheless.

Another shore excursion worth mentioning was the Mendenhall Glacier in Juneau. Located only 12 miles from downtown Juneau, its a very popular and accessible place to visit among cruise ship passengers. We opted to go there by bus, and I did some light walking along one of the trails for some good photos. From what I hear the Helicopter Glacier Trek is a once-in-a-lifetime experience worth shelling out for. The helicopter lands right on the glacier and you get to explore the glacier's surface with the help of expert guides. All this for an eye-popping $399. Hmmm...how many Blue Moons and Alaskan Ambers is that?! In the end, sanity prevailed, and you know where my money went :-)

23 May, 2007

The Show Goes On

Today the ship docked at Ketchikan for a full day's worth of activities that were rather forgettable, so let's go back to our favorite topic. Made my way to Cova Cafe and was surprised to see the pianist/singer Doug Ross entertaining the five people seated there. After the set, Doug told me that the one of them broke a violin, and that they might not be able to perform anymore for the duration of the cruise. Uh oh, no more classical music, no more Natasha :-( Decided to watch that night’s entertainment – Don Sherman’s observational comedy (ala Seinfeld). His entire act consisted of poking fun at various aspects of cruising, from the tiny, claustrophobic rooms to the “whales” lined up at the buffet to the um, lackluster ports of call (“Ketchikan is Skagway spelled backwards”, “The people in Juneau come to Ketchikan for nightlife”). Note: If those two riffs failed to amuse you, you HAD to be on the cruise. Or better yet, call your travel agent and book a cruise to Alaska. You'll see.

Went back to Cova Café, and surprise surprise - although their lead violinist broke his instrument in an accident (or temperamental fit?! wink wink) and thus was sidelined, the Vivaldi string quartet (now trio) were ready to soldier on. Natasha and I chatted briefly. The strain was evident in her face, and she worried aloud that they might not be able to put on a good performance. As always, Emma was around and actually ordered an Alaskan Amber tonight, and the audience size seemed to have increased the last two nights. Non-expert I might be, but the group played at their usual high caliber (albeit with a more limited repertoire) and Natasha handled the burden of sole violinist with much aplomb.

21 May, 2007

Driven to drink at the Cova

Perusing the detailed Seapass billing statement in my hand, here is a partial tally of my alcohol consumption onboard the Celebrity Mercury.

6 Alaskan Ambers (sweet specialty beer from Alaska)
4 Blue Moons (a cocktail with curacao and I forgot what else)
3 Mojitos
3 Carlsbergs
2 Mexican coffees (coffee with Frangelico and Kahlua, I think)
1 Aspen coffee (strong, alcohol-infused coffee)
1 Dos Equis
1 White flight (3 assorted white wines)

That doesn't include the bottles of wine at dinner, extra free glasses from Marlon (pictured, with a Blue Moon in the foreground). Counting drinks for Emma and bartenders' tips, total alcohol expenditure came to about $250. Not bad for 7 nights, eh? :-D

Much of that alcohol was consumed at my nightly hangout Cova Cafe. Probably the most relaxing place on the entire ship, it was usually deserted, and the Vivaldi string quartet played excellent classical music (and even interpretations of Beatles hits) all night. Yeah, a peaceful place to get away from the family and contemplate what a shitty cruise (just kidding. ok, half-kidding) it has been so far.

Another reason I stuck around was the attractive Ukrainian violinist Natasha, the youngest member yet the leader of the quartet. We got to talking during a break between sets and among other interesting facts about her family and performing background, she revealed that she spent two months vacation in Cebu relaxing by the beach. Apparently she made friends among Filipino crew members on her first tour of duty onboard the Mercury last year. Although she'd like to think her English is terrible (and I could her mentally grasping for the right translation), our conversations went smoothly, if somewhat overly punctuated by her favorite catch-all word "kaput" (as in, "If we play bad, we go kaput"). For Ukrainian food newbies, Natasha highly recommends "borsch" soup.

19 May, 2007

How does $1.67/day sound to you?

If there is one unassailable truth about cruising, it's that it is never the "all-inclusive" vacation some people assume it to be. Not only do passengers shell out extra bucks for alcohol and shore excursions, they basically underwrite the salaries of some of the poorly-paid crew.

Our ship Celebrity Mercury has an astounding 845 crew members from over 50 different countries making sure the guests' vacations go smoothly. I came in contact with a number of waiters, bartenders, beer servers and the like, and was shameless enough to ask about their compensation. Uniform answer: $50/month. NO, that's not a typo.

Essentially, their entire salary is dependent on passengers' tips (YOU pay for it). As indicated in the gratuity form (pictured), the suggested tip for your Head Waiter (at the MAIN dining room) is $3.50/day. Assuming 32 guests (8 guests/table x 4 tables) per Head Waiter, that comes to $112/day and over $3K/month...hmmm, not bad. Most other wait staff get much less though - Assistant Waiters only $2/day, and Assistant Chief Housekeeper a pitiful $0.75/day. Mind you, these are the cruise line's SUGGESTED tip amounts - you can follow or ignore them, give more or less (don't stiff them, please) as you wish.

For other positions that don't appear on the gratuity form, such as beer server, the pressure to hustle is greater. A 15% service charge is tacked on every alcoholic beverage order, so for each Alaskan Amber beer ($5) the server gets 2/3 ($0.50) and the bartender 1/3 ($0.25) of the $0.75 service charge. That's a lot of alcohol to sell to make a decent amount every day. No wonder they're always at your elbow asking if you want to order beer, cocktails, etc.

Having said all that, competition for these service jobs is intense - the pay is simply much more than what they would earn doing the same job in their home countries. In short, they put up with the 12-hour days, cramped living quarters, and being away from family and loved ones for the economic benefits. Depending on how you look at it, the situation isn't as bleak as the title implied.

There are also numerous fixed salary positions onboard, e.g. engineers, cooks, entertainment staff, if you're curious enough about their salaries check out Cruise Ship Jobs

18 May, 2007

The 'Love Boat'. Not.

As soon as I started telling friends that I was going on a cruise, they became ecstatic and everyone kept saying "You're gonna have so much fun and will definitely meet someone on the Love Boat!". Umm. NOT exactly. (If you're too young to know what the Love Boat is, here's the Wikipedia entry on Captain Stubing and his crew). Sure, I admit, it'd be great to meet someone onboard. However, what faint cause for optimism I had was quickly dashed on the embarkation lines that Friday afternoon. Scanning the crowds to get a better handle on the demographics of my fellow passengers - retired couple here, another retired couple, a group of retired women (school teachers?) shuffling along casually there...let's see...multi-generational Asian family with bored-looking teens who, I assume from the pouts on their faces, just got dragged into this...sweet couple looking full of hope and enthusiasm (honeymooners, what else?). You get the picture. As they say in industry parlance, most cruise passengers are "newly wed or nearly dead".

Not to say that I didn't make any friends onboard. For one, there's Christy, who was on her honeymoon with her new hubby (they met on Yahoo Personals...wow), and yet I would bump into her almost everday drinking alone at the Cova Cafe. She's fun to talk to, and we compared notes on our horrible online dating experiences. Also, I became pals with Glenn & Marlon (pictured), waiter and bartender, respectively at Cova, both of whom seemed hell-bent on setting me up with every youngish woman who sauntered into the bar.

One night, while at my usual spot at the bar watching the Vivaldi string quartet perform, Glenn whispered to me, "See that woman sitting over there. She's also here every night. Why don't you go and talk to her? Add some sizzle to your cruise." (accompanied by wicked smile). I turned around to look, my curiosity piqued. I told him, "I haven't seen her before. She's here all the time?". "C'mon", Glenn egged me, "go over and approach her". Since I was chatting with Christy at the time, I declined. At one point, Marlon interrupted our conversation, and said "Look over there". I looked, to see both Glenn and the mystery woman waving at me. As soon as Christy left, however, Glenn was in my face, "Go! She's waiting for you!".

Left with no choice, I walked across the room and plopped down on the couch next to Emma. After the introductions, she said "Thanks for the bottle of water you sent". Momentarily puzzled, I replied, "Huh?!". Recovering my composure, I played along and surmised that Glenn had sent her the Evian, saying that it was from me! (A fact that he later confirmed). In addition, Glenn had told Emma that I had observed her sitting there for the past few nights, and thought she would be thirsty, having never ordered anything from the bar in all that time! (No doubt causing dismay among the wait staff). Emma and I soon discovered that we both worked for the same company (in different locations), and for the rest of the cruise we'd meet up at Cova, listen to the string quartet, and talk till the bar closed at 1am. All due to the handiwork of those two crazy guys. Better yet, they didn't charge me for the Evian :-D

P.S. Don't be fooled - the first pic is from my friend Leslie's Caribbean cruise. A belly-flop contest was in progress which according to her was hilarious. None of that stuff on our more sedate Alaskan cruise. Darn.

06 May, 2007

Newbie Cruiser

"Why don't you go on a cruise? Have you ever been on one?". People ask me this all the time. Given my reputation for being "always on vacation", most of my friends were surprised that I haven't set sail on a cruise ship yet.

Well, finally I'm going on one! In contrast to my normal style of doing tons of research on vacation destinations, a week-long cruising vacation to Alaska was dumped right on my lap. My Mom and my brother's family were visiting Canada on an extended vacation which included a cruise onboard the Celebrity Mercury (pictured), thus I decided to join them for the ride to Alaska from Vancouver. Along with some days onboard the Mercury cruising the Inside Passage and admiring glaciers, stops would be made at the ports of Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan.

More than any other state in the US, I had always wanted to visit Alaska to admire the scenery, and despite my apprehensions about cruising (more on this later), at least it would be a new experience, and it involved zero planning on my part since they had already selected the departure dates, cruise line and vessel. Besides, over 900,000 people (the number of cruisers to Alaska in 2006) couldn't be wrong, right? So, I'm taking the plunge!

21 March, 2007

Rick Steves' Smart Travel Tips to Europe

Note: This post is just a preview, full article is here.

Yes, another post about travel tips, but this time specifically to Europe. At the same NY Times travel show, I caught best-selling guidebook author Rick Steves (of "Europe through the Back Door") fame as he expounded on his travel philosophy and gave advice on smart travel in Europe. Below are ten of his tips to make your next trip to Europe more fun, authentic and affordable.

Smart Travel Tip #1: Get off the beaten path. Salzburg attracts thousands of tourists mainly because they have been successful in marketing themselves as Mozart's birthplace. Also, they have capitalized on people's nostalgia by conducting bus tours which visit places supposedly used in the filming of "The Sound of Music". If you like crowds, then by all means go there.

Smart Travel Tip #2: Go late in the day when all the tourists have left. Charming towns like Toledo and Bruges are inundated with day trippers who arrive in their motorcoaches before lunchtime, and leave town to go back to their suburban hotels by sundown. A better idea would be to arrive later in the afternoon and spend the night in town. More often than not, a town's character changes dramatically once most of the tourists have left.

Conversely, for a city like Venice - in the early morning it is the quiet, romantic place that most travellers imagine it to be. That is the perfect time to explore the streets and plazas - by mid-morning Venice becomes a certified tourist trap.

Smart Travel Tip #3: Find places with no promotional budget. Mr. Steves describes these places as those "who missed the modern boat" and can survive on their own merits, instead of relying on lavish advertisements and promotional materials. He cites as an example the Cinque Terre, five small Italian mountainside villages overlooking the Mediterranean - these towns have resisted development and have no modern buildings and no comfortable chain hotels. The charm lies in walking the trails which connect each village to its neighbors, tasting the local specialty dishes, and drinking the locally made wine.

Read the full article here.

16 March, 2007

Spend the Day, See the World

Ok, so I haven't been travelling lately (a situation that will be remedied soon, I promise), but the annual New York Times Travel Show was too enticing to pass up. With hundreds of exhibitor booths, travel seminars by industry heavyweights (including Arthur Frommer and Rick Steves), and of course the ever present slick brochures and useless giveaways, it is an event worth attending for the avid traveller.

I happened to attend a seminar by Arthur Frommer, the legendary author and travel expert, who talked about the "Ten Great Myths of Travel" that each traveller must know about. They are as follows: (Full article here)

1> You get what you pay for.

2> Comfort increases the more money you spend.

3> Someone at your destination can be relied on to explain accurately what you are seeing.

4> Travel prices are fixed in stone.

5> Stock up on foreign currency before you leave.

6> Taking a guided tour is the best way to see a place you've never been to.

7> Shore excursions should be bought in advance of boarding the cruise ship.

8> You save money by booking at the last minute.

9> The Bahamas and Florida are reliably warm in winter.

10> You should carry different gadgets, electronics, pillows, fanny packs and other things.

For more insight on these travel myths, you can view the longer version of the article here